JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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