Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
this boner is exhausting
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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