I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize