y did u give ur computer a hand job?
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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