worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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