I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize