somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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