We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
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If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
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I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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