So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize