Tell her she can't have a vagina
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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