Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize