omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize