of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize