i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize