Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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