Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
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after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
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do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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