some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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