I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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