Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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