Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize