i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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