Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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