i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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