they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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