seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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