He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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