So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
not ubering you a puppy
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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