party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
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The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
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There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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