I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize