She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize