I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
The air taste purple.
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