Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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