its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
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