Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
not ubering you a puppy
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize