yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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