My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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