didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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