how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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