So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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