He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize