I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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