i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Two words: nipple clamps
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