Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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