This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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