this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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