24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize