You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
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i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
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Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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