New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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