What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I am mentally ready for anal.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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