My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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